What an irony, to bring me to the highest levels of Heaven, then hurl me down to the depths of fire in hell.
Or, more like it... I felt like jumping down.
Oh, it was painful, but I learnt to grow black ghoulish wings of death. Now I can search the skies with my crimson eyes. My wrath shall destroy, the world's my playground.
Who would have known, that a plain timid being, would have turned into the most fearsome monster of all. For one can destroy my body, but never my hatred. My soul will haunt forever.
Forgive me, if you are now, unpleasantly surprised.
However, for those who were always by my side, fret not. I am there to protect and care for you.
In this twisted game, my parents are still my most loved.
~*~*~*~*~*~
One will never see true beauty until they see the darkest ugliness.
One will never experience true love until their hearts were once shattered.
One will never taste sweetness of success untill they tasted worst bitter of failure.
One will never know Good until they have kown Evil.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Whose right is it, to decide what is evil and good, what is right and wrong?
That's such a drag to care.
Coz I am doing it... My Way.
*~*~*~*~*~*
In Night, I shall embrace darkness.
P.S. Gals, love u ppl! Muack! Happy New Year!
Love You 9:33 PM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas
The Soul was changed and taken away, I cried over it.
Now I know that what I see is no longer what I knew.
History repeats itself and I have to let go.
With a smile, I embraced the cruel truth.
And was released from the harshness of reality.
Thank You,
Live well,
Goodbye.
Love You 6:28 PM
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien
for once, I agreed with Haruka
Ppl do change over time, and ppl who we used to know so deeply in our hearts may not be the ones who we see now. It's painful tt way, but it's better to face reality and acknowledge the fact that those who we used to know, may never be there again. Our pasts lives only in our memories.
I guess that I cant go on decieving myself either.
and it is time to draw the line
I used to compromise and make little sacrifices, but i think i have reached the end of the road.
This cannot go on.
Please.. dont hate me.
Love You 12:48 AM
Sunday, December 18, 2005
In The End ~ I'm still... Myself
Someday... one day... I knew my world would be turned upside down. It was like a disaster that I was expecting to happen, for it had happened before and now it happens again.
At first thought, I thought that I had fallen into shadows. But then, I slowly realised that all along, the realm of shadows and darkness is where I have found peace and ease all along. And now, I am at ease.
Please, do not mistaken, that darkness is necessarily despair, sadness or depression. It is my little way, of finding reassurance in being alone sometimes, my way of letting thoughts fly, my way of finding a different sort of peaceful, gentle, relaxing joy.
Maybe, it is because as much as I am okay with the light on my skin, I trust the night and have no fear in my heart.
My thought is... without the background of the night, one can never see the warmth of the brightest star, at least, not with the naked eye. Everything is so quite in darkness... at last, I can truly hear the stories of the music, the whispers in the wind, the voice of my heart.
I would like to emphasize that this is not an angst post, it's just my point of view. Everything is beautiful, they are just more so at night... maybe, it's only when you find it after a search in darkness, that you can really treasure and appreciate it.
I shall follow my heart, even if others fear or despise the darkness within, for I know know, that my heart, is always... maybe unwillingly... but .. kind.
Thank you for everything, my friends.
( May, I heard that Thailand is experiencing monsoon storms and floods, I hope tt u are safe and well, and that ur trip to Bangkok is not ruined/ Li yan, it's been a while since I heard from you, how are you doing now? we should meet up sometime.../ Linah, any new plans for the holidays ahead? / Kenneth, all the best for your NS, and I still cant accept the bloody fact that u QUIT maple... lol/ Brandon, one of my greatest pals, gd luck for ur training in NS, rmb that u shall overcome all obstacles, bless u)
Love You 11:32 PM
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Late Sunday Morning
ok, i am slacking again. woke up at 11am, siao le!
anyway, got some new voice files by me: ( prepared to face the horror~ muhahaha )
Don't Speak - No Doubt >>>dont speak cazzie.zip
(Intro) Stan - Dido >>> stan dido cazzie.zip
yupz, i sang part of those songs, too sian... didnt want to do housework... bahahaha.....
Warning: I dont sound the original singers :P
Love You 12:58 PM
New World
Hmm, I went to a church service today ( thanks to Brandon ). well, i havent been to a religious gathering since a looonnng time. Well, it was more lively than i expected, rather interesting. The messages were pretty encouraging, it's always nice to look to the brighter side of life once in a while. ( esp for an often self-pitying person like me, Hah! )
Anyway, I have to start writing X-mas cards soon, hope that I wont leave out anyone by mistake/ carelessness.
Hmm, tt's abt it.
What I learnt today : Fear of responsibility is an obstacle in developing one's full potential.
Lalala~
` Me.
Name: Cazzie
Gender: Female
Birthday: Dec 1987
Horoscope: Sagittarius
Age: 18
Looks: None
Confidence level: Varies
Mood: Unstable
` Likes.
Books: Harry Potter series
Movies: LotR + Hero + etc
Anime: Last Exile + Inuyasha
Anime characters: Inuyasha + Sesshoumaru + Dio + Hao
Style: Gothic Lolita ( not tt I dress like tt though⦠)
` Hates.
Working Life
Waking up early
Ppl dun respect me
Ppl who dun trust me
My appearance
` Disclaimer.
No words or posts in this particular blog is meant as insult or discrimination towards anybody or organisation. If you feel that it does, then maybe you have just taken it the wrong way. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I only post midi music without lyrics. If thereâs singing, it would be me.
